My two sISterS
Sadly, I had to admitt that I do not really know much, or better term, I only have snap shots of situations that I was in, but not a complete chronicle. None the less, being the oldest in the family, I am responsible for re-capturing our past.
(Please do keep in mind that what I am about to write may not be in the correct order)
Mmmhh..when is my earliest enterment with Rena, since she is right after me?
SCHOOL. I was in first grade for three years because I was not an awaking student, in other words, I sleep in class and play during reccess and lunch time. I remember that Rena was only begining to go to kindergaten during my third year in first grade, it happened right before our big move from Sambo to Kratie where my dad was supposedly getting a better care. Since most, if not all, of the doctors were killed by Pol Pot, Sambo (where I grew up) did not have the technology to accomodate my dad’s wounds.
But, what do I remember about Rena?
I am pretty sure that she was really fragile. A weak child. If I rember correctly, she was really skinny at the time, not saying that she is fat now, but she has gotten stronger. We use to make fun of her that if she was to carry a tin can of rice, she would still fall down. The fact remians, she did, most of us did. I think it has something to do more with her cordenation not aligning. I think this is one of the reasons why you were really quiet and timid when around other people.
At the time, girillas warfere was at its pike of ending, meaning that the men had time to nurse their wounds and not worry about surprise attacks. In the mean time, my dad was building our manson (not made of stones, but almost similar to log cabins). We were barely finishing it, let alone moving in. My family ate pretty wealthy back then, being a general, the towns people brought us their hunt as a sign of gratitude. But, Rena and I usually ate our rice with salt or soy source because it tasted better. I guess you get use to what you grow up with and we did not grow up with plentiful of meat distrubution.
By this time, Pahnette has come into the our picture. I remember the very night of her birth, where my mom scream like no other. My grandma from my mom’s side was the maidservant (I know that there is a better word to call someone who give help give birth(s), but I can’t recall it, please do forgive me). I do not know the actual date, however, I remember that it was raining so hard, like none other. I was there the whole time anticipating the meeting of my new sibling, for we did not have the technology if the baby was going to be a girl or boy. Well, that baby turned out to be a cute and healthy baby Pahnette.
I do not recall baby sitting Rena hardly at all. As for Pahnette, she was my life for a quite a while.
Rena and I use to sleep next to each other for the longest time. We usually have roasted tamerines’ seeds for desert. I remember getting up in the middle of night to finish our desert, since the seeds were so hard to bite on, we had to let them soak in our mouth while we chat our ways to sleep.
Oh, I don’t know if this is true or not, but my mom told me that when I was a kid, I use to sleep walk, except I did walk, rather I climb our house walls. Use to scare my parents to death.
Upon the death of my dad, my mom and us kids built ourselves a small stilled house on a slut of land that was my dad’s share. My mom would asked the men in town to help us and in return we would provide them alcohol, 100%.
At the time, Pahnette was barely coming into her senses. I remember there were nights where the seasonal monsoon rain would wake us up. I have to admitt that in as little as we had, my mom would tried her best to keep us dry, especially my youngest sister. I use to remember cursing those rainy nights because it not only cause us to be wet, but it would soaked our dry food too. I do not remember specific names of the food that we had drying at the time, but I remember it was those dry food that hold our stomach many sleepless nights.
I know that I tend to emphasis on the part where my mom walked out on us, but I have to at least give her some credits: she tried her best to keep us together.
For a living my mom would make desert or this one thing where it is wrap in bananas leaves (I don’t know what its call in English) and I would go out and sell it. The deserts, people use to make fun of me for being a boy and having to go out selling, but never really my sis. Interesting part is I was the one that sell the most. I make myself known upon seeing a group of chatterings. Meaning that I would coase them to buying my mom’s product, and of course me being somewhat, the towns comedian everybody laugh the more upon opeing and finding that chunks of parts of their desert was missing. Truth of the matter is, my mom use a spoon not her hand when wrapping the desert before putting them to boil. I knew that that lasted for a while. We live a happy life in camparison to other families at the time.
Like anything, the desert get old after a while, so my mom had to come up with more ways to make our living.
Rena use to go to the market with my mom to by the materials needed to make what we call in Khmer nam, while I baby sit my Pahnette. We shared almost everything, although, she might not remember, breakfast was a big part of our lives. We had ramane noodles every morning, except one particular morning, where my mom only leave us 200 reils, equavilen to three U.S. cents. With that said, we couldn’t buy much that would feed the both of us. See, 200 reils buy only one package of ramane noodle, but 300 reils buy two. Its like the cheapest anybody could get. It was said because it was made in Veitnam.
Back to ‘except one particular morning’. I tore the money into tiny pieces and did not have breakfast at all. I remember also cursing my mom for that.
As for Pahnette, there were countless times where I would leave her a lone on a bed and ran off to play with my friends. Many times did I witness her falling off and hitting her head, but God has been good to us, for there was no major injury. I put her on a bed because I did not want her to crawl after me or worse yet, crawl into a hole and die. I was a bad brother, especially when come to baby sitting.
Of what you did or do at the market I do not know, Rena. That is when you come in and fill the gap.
We had a lot of fish in our meals and of course rice too.
One thing that that my mom tried to teach me was be on time for dinner. But, I never did learn that for I remember getting beat by my mom many times. The same way with my sisters, not so much with Pahnette since she was still a baby. When something break or left undone I would blame them all to Rena, thus, she got most of the beating. I think my mom spent a lot of her time beating us because she was stress out all the time. (It is really hard to write these parts of my life down.) My mom would ask me to do the dishes, and I would in turn ask, more of tell Rena to get them done, and ran off to play in the river. Most of the time that I do the dishes though, I was mad at my mom, one of the ways that I use to get back on her was breaking the dishes and then blame it on Rena. The thing is I would confess my lying to her upon witnessing how servere she was beating Rena and in turn she would let Rena go and start beating me, but by that time, most, if not all, of her anger was gone, so I didn’t get much.
While all these is going on, Pahnette has somewhat found herself a grandma. Our next door neighbor was an elderly woman, being Cambodians and all, elders are not just elders, they are our grandmas or grandpas. Many countless nights did Pahnette ran and hide with the woman. I think her name is Oum Moan.
If I remember correctly, Rena did not like going to the market with my mom because it would mean leaving the house at 5:30 A.M. the reason behide it is that the earlier you get there, the fresher products would we get. With that said, we use to just laid there on our shared mat and talked. And since Pahnette slept with my mom, she was not in the picture.
After a while, there was this one man who kept coming to our house, and whenever he came, he would bring us food. He and my mom left us and got marry not soon after. Talks of their leaving we did heard but a set date was never in place. At the time, I knew that Rena was going to be living with one of my aunts, and Pahnette was going with my mom, and I was going to live with my other aunts close by. But, we never did really know when hat was going to happen. Although the more I think about it, I think I remember my mom giving me a kiss on the forehead before taking off.
(There are other things that occurs between the time of my mom meeting that new guy and her leaving, but I can not share, or I’m not ready to share.)
Rena, that ends my knowing what you were up to after mom left. Oh, I do remember one more thing, you use to work in the field harvesting beans.
Pahnette, I do not know where you were at or what you were doing, except you did tell me that the step dad use to abuse you many times. And since mom had a new baby, you use to had to walk a very long ways to buy food for the new born.
Looking back at the things that happened, God was very much alive and working in our lives. I mean, who would know that we are now united and going to school. Back when I was growing up, one out of every five children died every year. And look at us, we all are very much alive with me starting college as a freshman at The Master’s College in a few days and Rena going into her senior year this coming Monday and Pahnette entering her first high school year, I believe.
You mean to say that your grandma acted as the mid-wife. yeah that’s a weird name for a woman who helps birth babies but that’s the name. em