B. C. Straight

Who dictakes your emotions? God or ppls?
“Do you drive your passion or does your passion drive you?”

Oh! God, please guard my heart:

My heart is dirty and filthy (Jer. 17). So, here’s the plan–

My heart is a castle, there is a huge piece of land that is filled with landmines before that heart could be reached. Only spies live in that land for they are the only one that know their way around.

My heart is a castle, there is a huge moat filled with alligators, sharks, snakes, electric ells, and whatever else that is most dangerous.

My heart, the only way to get to it is with a small bridge that must be lower to for access. That bridge is made of one single but many climbing ropes that is slippery, only the right woman (if God made any for me) can have such a great skill to walk on it without falling into the moat.

My heart, even if one is made in, the road is not finished; rather, there is a stainless steel bullet proof fence, that will reflect any attack right back at the attackers. On the fence, there are machine guns, AK-47, arrows, access to countless of explosive, and whatever else that only seeks to kill. On the fence also hangs all the saints’ shields, where history of battles and kills took place.

My heart, if that fence fail and the moat is conquered, there is also the LAST VICROTY, Jesus Christ’s red, hot blood that kills all.

My heart, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will not fail you. but this does not mean that you sit around wait for attacks. No, oh my hear, you must be exercising with all your might to strengthen up and Last of all be an active guard that guards yourself, so that you will not fall into self-deception. Even you will lie to yourself. So, don’t trust your own heart. Trust Jesus!

My heart, I love you, but please, I beg  you, don’t let my love to love you more than the Love of Jesus Christ because my love sucks. He loves you so much. In fact, when He made you even after He saw that you were infected, He still let you live, and come up with a plan to kill Himself so that He could love you, make you one with Him. The word LOVE sums up the whole entire Bible [at this point of my life, I tihnk so]. Read that love book and live by it.

My heart, do not wait until tomorrow to practice, my command to you; rather, do it now. Because I might betray you, therefore be aware of betrayer.

here is what i dreamed last night, but i’m not sure how it will relate to what i’m going through..i’ve decided not to go into details:

with tears, “you know..”

Ah!!!!!!!!!!!! I love 1 John epistle. It is so practical.

Admit it or not, each and everyone of us have dream of that , if I may use the word, perfect girl or guy in our heads. Here’s mine:

I don’t really care what race or color, but I prefer Asian.

Should I start with the toe or the hair?

Well, I think I’m going to start with the hair since that is probably what I will first see, and not her toe. The hair is to be long, reaching half way her back, the longer the better. Eyes, blue is the color, the thing with that is that I don’t think  I’ve meet an Asian girl with blue eyes, but I’m just going to throw it out there anyway. Nose, not to flit and not to long. Teeth, I would say perfectly straight, but since the introduction of dental care didn’t really kicked in until the last ten years, I’ll just say that whatever she got is great. Lips, almost “chicken lip” is great, never been a fan of looking at big lips. Notince, I say “a fan of looking at”, not kissing. I haven’t gone that route yet, would like to wait until marriage. Neck, not to skinny tall or shortly close to the shoulder. I think I better leave the rest unsaid otherwise I might get in trouble. Also, I would prefer that she likes to do someting active. Running is on top of the list. Since I’m short by birth, I would prefer that she is shorter than me. Someone who is in track & feild or the soccer team is the ideal here…

Yes, yes I know, where is the godly side of all this? Again, if we all are being honest with ourselves here, how many of us ask that question upon first being introduce to or meet that guy or girl? Shamingly, I don’t, but I am striving to change that. Now that I brought it up, she would have to be someone who has the characteristics that these three g’s describes: godly, godly, godly (Proverb 31). I use to have it as gggb (godly, gorgeous, good cock, and briliant), but come to think about it, if she is godly that is all that matter. I mean, truly godly, if she is truly godly, she will try with the help of the Holy Spirt to please God and in doing so, those around her will be bless too.  To break it down, since I’m going back to my country, if she is to be from here (America that is), it would be preferable if she also loves mission, which means that her ultimate calling is to spread the gospel. Someone who is not afraid to go somewhere new.

All in all, I don’t really care, I would just like to wait on the Lord, whoever He sends, is going to be the best!!

There was no turning back
As I arrived and unpack
Once classes has started

The bubble was blown
Then began my groans
Not only had I got work

But I also had assignments
While tried to capture every moment
All seems to be swell

Routines were going great
Never had I gone on a date
Only to hung out and talked

It was all about me
What do I want to be
How about this and that too

This world’s love sucks
All that it wants is my bucks
Everywhere I turn

I want this and that
Even the fitted hat
The last thing I need

Everything aside from Christ
Wants me to go to hell and die
This world’s love hurts

It cannot promise satisfaction
Let alone any benefaction
Yet why do I buy into

It knowingly that it is a lie
Ahhhhh..I just want to die
God, please kill me

Yes, that is right, love sucks..

I’m sure at one point or another, we all have experince the fact that time seems to go slower when we are less busy and faster when things seems to be busiest stage. Why is that?

To be straightforward with you, I do not know why. But I do know this though, if I am to write the with a pen and a book, time seems to go slower, but if I am to type, like what I am doing right now, time seems to fly way.

Another thing is that prayer seems to definitely slow down time, I get through so many people, thanking God for them, and petitioning on their behalf but when I look at the time, nothing much has change. My encouragement to all of you is to simply take time to pray and write using books and pens or pencils instead of doing everything on the computer.

Sigh…
It seems that I am never writing anything anymore these days. Well, it is true for the blog, but I’m writing a lot more in my journal now.
School is really hard, but God is teaching me complete dependency on Him through it. He is using Greek to stretch me so much. I feel maxed out everytime I leave class.
For those of you who desires to support Asian Hope, please let me know.

As I woke up this Sunday morning,

I did not account all the mourning.

I knew I was a mess,

But still I got dress.

 

Walked myself to the youth group,

Where we Sunday regroup.

As we begin to sing,

My head started to go bing! bing!

 

I felt like throwing up,

As I managed to stand up.

Excused myself and left.

One step at a time, told myself: right, left

 

By the time I got up to the dorm,

My life was not at norm.

I felt cold and yet hot.

Not only did I see spots,

 

I knew that I had duties to fulfill,

First I called John Maly to cancelled,

Then Garrett, to Johny Boi, to Brandon Torres

Begging them please, I won’t be there

 

I tried to first sleep it off

Closed the blinds, lights all off

As the minutes turned to hours,

I wanted to eat some flour.

 

First I missed lunch, now dinner

Which is more finer?

Missing meals did not hurt like my body aches

From toe to head, I was cracking: cold, hot and chills

 

The more I tried to sleep,

The colder I get, “Yep!”

But in actuality, I was burning

People were passing out and in

 

First come Daniel Wrage

Then Joe Koo

To James Chung

Practically all the men wing

 

During those long less hours

The Word of God, I did not devour

Neither did I go to prayer

All to say is: I was not humble

 

I tried to fight alone

Even with broken bones

Life was at too fast of a paste

For me to even slow down to rest

 

With full intention, I ignored God

‘Cuz He was became my check list

I “do” Him out of academics

I did not want the intellects

 

I was sick of knowing about God

I wanted something more than talk

But I did not know how to go about

Yet, I was not even slowing down to doubt

 

God slowed me down so that

I would eat real meat

Drink real water

From He, the real Giver

 

Right about 11:00 PM, my hero

God provided is named Josh Masiko

Busted through the door,

Then kneeled to the floor.

 

Little did he know

That the head that he was feeling was Bo

I guessed it burned his hand

So he made me put on my pants

 

Slapped on my socks, striped on my shoes,

Dragging me down the stairs,

“Taking me where?”

“The ER”, even though I said, “No!”

 

By then, it was too late,

‘Cuz Jonny already started

His car as we rolled out the exit,

One asked, “Are ya’ll goin’ snowing?”

 

No comment did I made

I was so hot and yet I was so cold

As we drove, my Masiko made phone calls

And filled papers for the front desk.

 

They had us wait,

I felt just like dying:

‘Cuz my body was falling apart

I was struck with darts after darts

 

I don’t know if the ER was conserving energy

‘Cuz they walked me into the dark

Or simply the lights were broken,

I told myself it was part of the swine flu prevention.

 

As the nurse asked simple questions,

She took my tempo

Measured my blood flow

And told me, “You have a fever Bo.”

 

Then, they made us wait again.

As the PM crossed onto the AM zone,

 More Peoples disappeared

Both weird and normal then reappear.

 

By the time I got a room with a bed,

My whole being hurt so very bad

But after a shoot here and there,

I only remember the cute nurse tender care.

 

The doctor poked my nose for a test,

While the nurse drew life from me: yes…

They said it was for curing pain

Yep, they are right, my arm and nose still hurt the same!

 

I almost got a ticket from security

Because I did not have my identity

But, Masiko, my hero

Told them that this is Bo!

 

Who flu to the ER test

Still, Mr. Security had to check

With the awesome Chuck

By the time he let us pass,

 

I almost out passed

When I laid down, little did I know

That time will fly and flow

Which is three days ago.

 

In bed where I laid low,

I still have two more days in the cell

Before the nurse will let me use any gel

So that I may not look frail…